"Sleeping like a baby - or not!"

As Julie walks in for her newborn's two-week-old visit, she declares, "I've had it!"

"I'm quitting breastfeeding. I'm exhausted. I nurse little Taylor and put her down to nap. Forty-five minutes later she starts to squirm around. She smacks her lips, her eyes flash open, and she whimpers. I figure she's ready to eat again, so I get her to the breast. But she immediately falls asleep. It takes me (and my husband!) another hour to wake her up to eat. Then it starts all over again. I know breastfeeding is best for the baby and me, but maybe I need to quit!"

I am delighted that Julie is telling me this story before she stops breastfeeding. Hers is a problem I can solve by sharing just a little more information.

Julie is confusing her baby's "light/active sleep" and her baby's waking "zone."  All babies have two sleep cycles. Deep/still sleep is easily recognized as a baby fast alseep: She is totally still, her breathing is deep and regular, her eyes stay shut and still under the eyelids, and she doesn't make any noises. That's the kind of sleep people refer to when they say, "She's sleeping like a baby!"

Light/active sleep (often called Rapid Eye Movement, or REM sleep) looks very different. In light/active sleep the baby will stir, jerk his arm or leg, breathe more rapidly, flash his eyes open a moment, make sucking movements with his mouth, and grunt or make other newborn sounds. Such a baby seems like he's waking up, but, in fact, he is still asleep. All babies cycle between these two sleep zones a number of times during the night.

Julie is relieved. She returns for a weight check the following week with a big smile on her face. She reports learning to recognize her baby's light/active sleep. When Taylor gets to that Zone, she leaves her alone and in a few minutes the baby goes back to deep/still sleep. Mom gets to sleep another hour or two. When Taylor is hungry, she transitions from that light/active sleep to waking up. After she fusses for a minute or so, Julie knows that now she's really ready to eat.  This mother's breastfeeding is going great now. She has been eager to share this information with other young moms and, now the whole neighborhood is sleeping better!

© HUG Your Baby 2020

Certified HUG Teacher Makes a Real Difference for Baby and Mom!

Sarah McKay is a Certified HUG Teacher  near Nashville, TN where she is eager to share her new HUG skills and knowledge with moms and dads! She describes a recent home visit with a brand new mom and her baby.

"I arrived at Traci's house for a postpartum visit after the birth of her daughter two weeks prior. The birth had been a beautiful drug-free birth, and when I had left her just 2 hours after the birth, her daughter was already breastfeeding like a champ. 

At this postpartum visit we talked about how she and her baby were doing. Her biggest concern was that, "My baby is not sleeping well". As we talked, I watched the little one start to squirm. Traci explained, “I just nursed her and laid her down 30 minutes ago. Look at her squirm and wiggle. Sometimes her eyes flash open, and she even makes some sounds.”

Traci's remarks were no surprise to me. I convinced this new mom to sit and watch her baby a moment. And as she and I continued to talk, Molly transitioned from the "active sleep" back into her "deep sleep" state I had learned about in my HUG training. Traci looked amazed. This was the perfect opportunity to explain to this new mom the different sleep states, and also about the three Newborn Zone, "The Resting, Ready, and Rebooting Zone". Sharing the HUG information gave this new mom and baby just what they needed – more than 30 minutes of uninterrupted rest!"

© HUG Your Baby 2013

"My baby just won't sleep at night!!"

Helping a baby sleep at night is a coming together of biology and social learning. New parents need to understand and partner with both forces in order to help their little one learn to sleep at night.

Biology
First, a stomach the size of a walnut cannot hold enough food to sleep all night. This is a simple fact, but one which parents need to remember. Second, a baby’s circadian rhythm is still developing. Melatonin begins moving from the mother to the fetus around 7 months’ gestation. It is not until 6 weeks after a full-term birth that the baby has the “chemistry” to distinguish day from night. Natural sleep cycles affect a baby’s sleep as well. All babies will move between still/deep sleep and active/light sleep about every hour at night. Babies need to group the cycles together without waking up in order to sleep for an extended period of time.

Social Learning
Babies (and grown-ups as well) associate going off to sleep with something: quiet music, a cuddle, a feather pillow bunched to just the right angle. Babies learn to associate going to sleep with suckling the breast, being rocked, skin to skin contact. However, if they ONLY learn to fall asleep under these conditions, they will be unable to get themselves back to sleep once they awaken during the active sleep phase.

Tips for helping your baby sleep

1. Recognize (and find comfort in) the fact that you are not alone. You will experience several months of fatigue that all loving, competent parents undergo.
2. Nap during the daytime when your baby naps. Housework can be done for the next 20 years and need not be done now! 
3. Make baby’s daytime sleeping and nighttime sleeping environments different: nap in the sunny, family room, and have “bedtime” in the quiet, darkened bedroom. (This helps to establish circadian rhythms.)
4. Learn to distinguish the two sleep cycles: still/deep sleep and active/light sleep. 
5. When the baby wakes up from active/light sleep after only a short nap, talk quietly to her without picking her up and see if she will return to still/deep sleep. (It is easier to practice this during the day time at first.)
6.  If you see her wiggling, smacking her lips, flashing her eyes open, and even making baby sounds – WAIT – and see if this is active/light sleep. Let her squirm a few minutes, and often she will return to still/deep sleep.
7.  If it is time for your baby to eat and he does not wake up, wait for him to move into active/light sleep before you use your tricks to rouse him.
8. If your baby falls asleep while nursing, give her a little jiggle when you lie her down. This will help her move briefly back to active/light sleep and let her practice getting herself from this sleep cycle to the still/deep sleep cycle.
9.  Notice how your baby contributes to comforting himself: bringing his hand to his mouth, making sucking movements, using the fencing reflex, “Spacing Out.”  As he practices these efforts to comfort himself, he will be learning the self-regulation needed to sleep at night.
10. Be kind to yourself. Take a bubble bath. Ask for a back massage. Babies notice a mother’s tension, and just a brief “time out” for you can increase your baby’s ability (and yours!) to get a good night’s sleep!